This poem isn't mine, the original author is a subject of great dispute. But it's just such a great poem I had to share it with everyone. There are plenty of versions all over the internet, so I mashed them together and came up with this one:
Ladies and jelly spoons, hobos and tramps;
Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bow-legged ants.
I stand before you to sit behind you,
To tell you something I know nothing about.