Tuesday, 11 June 2013

When I Woke Up This Morning

When I woke up this morning; I was ten centimetres taller than before, I had increased sensitivity in both my sight and hearing, I felt stronger, smarter, and braver, like I could take on the world with this new sense of wisdom and intelligence I had never had before.

When I woke up this morning; I could run faster, jump higher, swim deeper, and hold my breath longer. I was funnier, sharper, and more friendly than ever before.

When I woke up this morning; I had a profound sense of responsibility and intuition, like I was a whole other person. I was more attractive than I was yesterday, I had huge biceps and abs, and flowing golden locks like something out of a Disney movie.

When I woke up this morning; I had a pair of wings and I could breathe fire. I had laser eyes and could teleport and move through time like water. I had control over the elements and I used them only for the benefit of the human race.

When I woke up this morning; I saved the planet from an alien invasion and solved all the world's hunger problems and poverty, I freed all the slaves and healed all the sick, and the people of the world made me their king.

When I woke up this morning; I summoned the avengers together and cast the final horcrux into the darkest depths of Mordor. I defeated the dark lord and the snow began to dry up as Spring returned to Narnia. Aslan let out a mighty roar as I let the torpedo go and watched the death star blow up. Gandalf and the others cheered my name as we returned to Earth in the USS Enterprise.

Actually, nothing changed. I am no different than I was yesterday, except for a handful of birthday presents. But turning eighteen is meant to be some magical moment when you become an adult, and take on the responsibilities of being an adult. The whole world respects you and your new-found rights as an adult, as you take on a new life in a brave new world as an adult.

No, but seriously: when the clock ticked over from 11:59.99pm on the tenth of June, and it became 12:00.00am on the eleventh; all of a sudden, without any physical, psychological, or spiritual change in me, the world around me, or anything else...

I was suddenly allowed to drink alcohol, buy cigarettes, watch R-rated movies, vote for my preferred leader, apply to drive without the supervision of an adult, be married, raise or adopt kids, and travel the world without the permission of a parent or guardian, and sign up for services such as eBay, PayPal, Public posts on Facebook, Google AdSense, and any form of pornography.

In the split second between the clock reading 11:59.99pm and 12:00.00am; my entire life changed, without anything around me or in me actually changing at all.

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